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Annabel's Story Annabel, who recently uprooted her life in North Carolina and moved to Northampton, MA, discusses how she ended up living in the city and her close familial relationships that led her there. Scroll to Listen Annabel's Story 00:00 / 03:21 Stephanie: Speaking of Northampton, how did you even end up here? Like, how did you know this town? Because it is so small. Annabel: It is so small. I had been visiting here for a number of years because my daughter, who is a writer, and her husband is a publisher, they were living in Northampton and were - and Amherst and Northampton both have a huge community of writers. I ended up visiting frequently, and then 12 years ago, almost 13 years ago, they had a child who was born four months early. And she only weighed a pound and a half, and ended up having a lot of medical crises. She had a feeding tube and a trach. Stephanie: Oh, my God… Annabel: And, ended up spending four hundred and [sic] days in three different hospitals. Thank God she was in Massachusetts because she had some fabulous care here. Stephanie: Yeah. Annabel: She is doing really really well now. Um, and if you didn’t know, if you didn’t see the scar in her neck you wouldn’t know she had a trach. And, ironically, as a two year old, I had a trach… Stephanie: Oh… Annabel: Because of a really bad case of bronchial pneumonia, and ended up with a trach. So, we may be the only grandmother team… Stephanie: Yeah, that has… Annabel: that have the trach scars. Anyway, so I came up here a great deal while she was in the hospital - or, those 3 hospitals. And finally, I just thought, “I want to move there. I want to be near her,” so that was the reason I ended up here. And I’m so glad. I’m almost 75, and if you had told me I would make friends as good as any friends I’ve ever had I would not have believed it. So, I count my blessings that I ended up here. Stephanie: Yeah, that sounds really, that everything worked out, basically. Annabel: It did. It really did. Stephanie: Yeah. And was it hard making friends here? Annabel: I think at first, because I didn’t think that I could ever make friends like the ones I left behind, particularly back in North Carolina, I wasn’t reaching out. But finally, my daughter is best friends with another writer, whose mother moved here from California, and both of them kept saying “You’ll love each other if you get together!” and we instantly did. And then, I joined a church at the same time as another friend and we’ve become best friends. So I'm just amazed. I did not expect - I knew I would be happy here because of my daughter’s family. And there’s another family, they’re very close to me and I love them. I didn’t think I’d have peers as friends, but I do, and I’m so glad. Yeah.

Candace's Story Candace shares what it means for her to live her best self and how she continues to learn through her experiences. Scroll to Listen Candace's Story 00:00 / 05:17 Candace: I like my own company. And I guess that was something of a surprise. I've tended my whole life to be very social. And all of a sudden, because I couldn't be, I started to do maybe more internal work, deeper dives internally. Being alone did not necessarily feel lonely to me. Candace: I'm 77. So with, I certainly hope, I've learned over that many years, a bunch of stuff. And, trying to get to the place where it's one thing or one more most important thing, or one thing that is a basket for everything else, right. And I think what it comes down to for me, is that everything counts. And the older I get, the more I see it. It's not that you have to always make brilliant choices, you can't, you know, and in fact, I think our failures may be certainly as important, maybe even more important than our successes. The choice part comes about, when you see how you deal with events in your life, or how you deal with what comes at you, or how, what you use to make choices, or even things like who you choose to be your friends, or who whose shoulders do you choose to stand on, you know, I mean, we can't choose our family. And we certainly all stand on their shoulders at some point. But, but we do choose like, occupations and, and mentors and people we admire, those are the shoulders we stand on, and those choices feel important. Candace: And, as I've gotten older, one of the things that's been I've been so aware of is that choices that I made years ago, come back to me in ways that I never thought would be true. I don't believe that everything is fate. Or that necessarily everything happens for a good reason. Because some bad stuff happens, you know, but I do believe opportunity is put in front of us time after time after time. And that's what's laid out. And that, within that we make choices. And those choices, sometimes they're good choices. And sometimes they're like, “wow, that was a wrong choice”, in terms of how things have turned out, and “what am I going to do about that?” Are we going to be defeated by that? Am I going to be angry about that? Am I going to be a victim? Or am I gonna make something of it that turns it into a lesson of some kind? Candace: My purpose is to be my best self. And what do I mean by that? There's a poet who I like a lot named Mary Oliver. And the last line of one of her poems is, “I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.” So I think that's what I mean by being my best self. I want to live fully and passionately, and mindfully. In this present moment I want to find ways to be joyful and to share that joy with other people. I want to be a lifelong war learner. I want to love unconditionally, I want to hear people's stories and share those stories. I long to explore the outside world for sure. And to get back to traveling and that kind of thing. Also, from the pandemic. I've learned, I want to explore more inside. What's going on inside. And I think a new exploration place for me right now is I want to prepare myself and the people around me for my death, so that it can be, I hesitate to say good because I'm not sure that that's always the case. But that it can be fully experienced and then it can be okay.

< Back Brenda's Story Brenda talks about her experience being a daughter to Brazilian immigrants and first generation college student. Brenda describes the transformation in her perspective from once desperately wanting to fit in to typical American standards, to now embracing her Brazilian roots and culture. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 04:01 Both of my parents emigrated from this state in Brazil called Minas Gerais. My Mom came from the capital which is Belo Horizonte and my Dad is from this small, more rustic rural town called Governador Valadares. I didn’t think too much about it in my early, early ages but as I started getting into like third grade, fourth grade, with people, you know, dressing up for St. Patrick's day. And just being like, there is no Brazilian recognition, like really, there would be hispanic heritage month that we kind of talked about and black history month but Brazil is really weird because we are a little bit of everything. Usually, you know, when I am in the sun, I get like very, very tan. And my hair, especially when I was younger, was very long and big and curly and I had bushy eyebrows and I hated that. I really hated that. My best friend growing up was blonde with straight hair and blue eyes. And I would pray to God, like literally this third grader, I would cry to my Mom, and be like why don’t I have blonde hair and blue eyes, why don’t I look the way I want to look and fit this mold that I so desperately wanted to fit in. So at the time, I didn’t realize how badly I wanted to identify myself with something but that's what the issue was is that I often felt like these kind of headline identities, none of them really fit for me. But a lot of that in hindsight came from me trying to push down a lot of these aspects of myself that I feel like made me inauthentic. And it didn’t really, I guess come full circle until I got to UMass, and that's when my bubble really burst. And so my whole floor was filled with hispanic people, black people, caribbean, a very diverse mix of college kids. And when their families would come they would bring their traditional little Brazilian pastries and stuff, like pao de queijo, which is like cheese bread. And I remember this so well that one of the guys Mom came and brought it around for like to everyone on the floor, and that is such a Brazilian thing to do, like if you bring one thing you’re bringing it for everyone, I don’t know, and it just felt like, it was weird, it felt like a piece of home that I got to have at this really scary huge place. And I don't know, I feel like UMass being so big gave me the space to stop the comparison. That was when I was like, oh my god, I can stop being a poser kind of, and try to just relax a little bit, wear my hair natural. I also feel like going through different experiences and really realizing how much my parents sacrificed for me and care about me and show me so much unconditional love that not everyone in college gets to experience made me really appreciate them on a level that I never had. They really raised me with so much warmth, that it is crazy that I ever wanted them to stop being like that and be more American because it was the most nurturing environment. And now it's like, I’m like Mom please cook and yeah, just embracing that aspect also just like, now it’s time to kind of embrace differences. So yeah, I guess just like not thinking so hard about who I am and just being who I am, is what I am doing right now. Previous Next

Janice's Story In this story, Janice explains her life long connection to animals and how her experiences working with animals have become her most fulfilling achievements. Scroll to Listen Janice's Story 00:00 / 03:36 Janice: I have to say I was drawn to animals from the very start of my life. As soon as I—I grew up in the woods basically and explored a lot and can’t remember a time where animals weren’t special to me. I had a parakeet when I was a kid, as an adult I’ve had dogs, cats, rabbits, snakes, turtles, fish, a wonderful rat who traveled around on my shoulder, mice, gerbils, guinea pigs—I’ve might of left something out but you get the picture. When I got to be an adult, I read more, I learned more, and I started to support a lot of animal welfare organizations. And I got older I transitioned from animal welfare to animal rights. And basically, now I think I support both of them. The experience I’ve had with the most depth was also volunteering for a shelter, but this was for their training department. I worked as an assistant trainer for five years. I had just—I just learned so much. I mean, I was essentially was just thrown out to the training and floor and said, “ok now you work with them.” Rebecca: Oh my—what were you working with, dogs? Janice: Oh yes, dogs. Many of which were shelter dogs, and a lot of those owners were kind of really at the end of their rope because they couldn’t get the dog to respond the way the wanted it to and it almost was like we were the last stop before being returned to the shelter. So I realized that my biggest job was to make get the owners to like their dogs, and to get the dogs to trust the owners, and to get them all to realize training was fun. I had an amazing assortment of dogs. In five years, you can imagine—a golden retriever who wouldn’t work at all for treats but would do anything for a hug; a Doberman pinscher who had to do everything behind a curtain because she was so frightened of all the other dogs. I had dogs—little Shih Tzus—who had terrible abuse histories who just tried so hard. They were so earnest and so brave. There was another dog there who was being raised in a bilingual household and we had to say, “Bueno! Bueno!” I was never bored. I was in my element. I became the hotline for my friends and family who were having trouble with their dogs, and I only stopped when I moved away. When I moved away from Massachusetts to Maryland. I do consider it one of the greatest experiences of my life. Rebecca: That sounds so incredible. Janice: I’m proud. Rebecca: You should be. Janice: You know, I’ve had a lot of jobs, a lot of professional positions, and I have two master’s degrees, but when people ask me what I do, well I say I’m a former dog trainer because I’m just so happy that I did that.

Bert's Story Roberta Liebman shares with Alisson Aleman the remarkable role that neighborhood organizations have played in some of the most significant moments of her life. They have provided her and her family with support and companionship through some of the most challenging moments. Scroll to listen Bert's Story 00:00 / 04:15 I think my story began about fifteen years ago, my son and his wife who lived in California, they both by a bizarre coincidence were diagnosed with brain tumors. They were different types but they were serious. And my son Jamie recognized that they were going to be in big trouble. They didn’t have a lot of resources to help them and they were both needing brain surgery. So Jamie spoke to some friends and said we’re gonna need help and the friends said, okay, we’ll do it. And they made sure that whenever food was needed, whenever a ride was needed to the doctor someone was there to help them. Someone was even there to help them sort through the pile of mail. And all of that was incredibly helpful to a family that was in terrible shape. It was this neighborhood that took care of them. When it was over, we were struck by how extraordinary it was that people just rallied around to help and lend support. And about that time, some of our neighbors began saying you know we can have an organization and we would help eachother, are you interested? And we had just had this extraordinary demonstration of how effective it could be so we said of course, yes we would. And my husband Ernie was on the board and he helped deal with some of the finances. I helped with a number of volunteer things, I had been a volunteer in many other situations and it was beautiful. And then the organization grew, people began really recognizing what a fine thing this was. Unfortunately, Ernie’s health was not great and our house was not safe so we had to move. We moved here to Northampton, our son and daughter in-law made us comfortable, they were living upstairs. But people here began saying you know have you heard of this village-to-village network maybe we should have something like Northampton Neighbors. Well, we had already seen this was a really good idea. So, of course we said yes. And we both prepared to be volunteers, except Ernie wasn’t doing very well and I fell down. I had to say I need some help. My arm is broken, I can’t drive to therapy. And boom, Northampton Neighbors was there and it turned out to be the nicest possible way to meet people in my community as well as to receive the help I desperately needed. I think it’s very easy to offer help, it’s really fun to be a volunteer. The thing that's hard are to learn to accept is to ask for help, we’re expected to be independent and to take care of ourselves. And to recognize that it is okay to say I need help. You know there is a certain level of isolation that older people experience, and making it possible for people to join a group where there all kind of social activities, there’s physical activities, there’s even a group called, I think it’s called FIG for food information group. But, I think it broadens the whole sense of how we all work together and how we all need each other.

Marci's Story ​ Scroll to listen Marci's Story 00:00 / 03:26 ​

< Back Naomi's Story Naomi talks about her experiences growing up and about how these experiences shaped her approach to parenting and helped her understand what she truly values in her relationships. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 03:16 ​ Previous Next

Sally's Story Sally talks with Mia about her role in creating the first public library in the township where she lived and the impact it has had on her life. "Libraries always remind me that there are good things in this world." - Lauren Ward Scroll to Listen Sally's Story 00:00 / 01:19 ​What am I most proud of? I think the fact that I was very instrumental in establishing a public library and little township where we lived this township that we moved to had five little village. Just collections of houses, 30 miles outside of Philadelphia. And there was no center of town really, except the elementary school and then the library right next door. And then the township building across the street. So we were in the center of town and we felt that role strongly so that we tried to have community events there, sector and so forth, immediate community projects. Up until 1958. And we moved there in 1960. There had just been five little one-room schools in the township. And in 1958, they put a consolidated elementary school in, but they say they sold off for the one room schoolhouses, but saved one, hoping that somebody day that would be a library. I had never lived where there wasn't a good library and it really bothered me that there was no library. And so I got involved right away and ended up being the librarian there for 20 years. Once I started having children at that age, those days, you didn't work. As soon as my youngest child was Liz in preschool, then I was working in the library pretty much full. It made for quite a very involving job. Certainly, the thing that comes to mind fastest was the day I was training a volunteer because we always had a volunteer on the desk and this little one-room library had no running water. I unlocked locked the door and we went in and the first thing we discovered was a mouse that had gotten trapped in the wastebasket. And we had to dispose of that. And then a little boy came in with his mother and threw up all over the children's corner and with no running water and quite to the school, getting, finding the janitor to get a bucket mop and clean it all up. And I have to say that volunteer never came back when you were in a small, rural library, anything can happen. And so it's been fun to watch it now grow.

Susy's Story Susy talks about her want for a child and how it led her to her experience with international adoption in Peru as a single woman. She discussed the impact of negative cultural views on adoption and how it impacted her experience as a parent. She then discusses the importance of belonging and the need for people to share their stories. Scroll to listen Susy's Story 00:00 / 04:52 ​

Kathleen Bowen's Story Kathleen talks about changes and how her perspective of age and learning has changed over time through her own experience with getting older. Kathleen Bowen's Story 00:00 / 02:55 Interviewer: Your whole thing about, every like seven years there something that happens. Like how you presented it, was so like natural. Like you don’t have to worry about all these changes. Like they just, they are gonna happen. I just wanna know like a little bit of how you think like how they played a role in your life. Kathleen: The one that really stands out to me was the first time I learned about this. I was forty nine and I decided to go back to school and learn, learn kind of the way my children learn cause they sent them to Waldorf school. And there was a three year program that included painting and [inaudible] and oh just all the arts, and I thought, “I think I’ll take that, experience learning how my children learned.” Many many years ago, and when I did that one of things that I came to understand was that at age 49, 49 to 56, that’s the time of now looking out into the world to see what’s your life been about. So it’s like you are sitting on top of the mountain and just reviewing your life. And I thought, oh my gosh, that is exactly what I did. And just looking back and seeing the development, the human development that happens there and recognizing that this is the time when you interact with who you become in the first 21 years, now you’ve got your body and then now you are looking to how you interact with the world. Now how do you step in to the world, you learn through conflict and you learn through bumps and falling down. And gosh, I just remember like when I was, when I was in that age bracket I used to have older people around me and think, “they could solve my problem in a second if they just gave me like a brand new car or money, or you know the right advice” and they didn’t. And thinking, wow, I just, you know, I wanted, and now that I am you know, I’m 67 now, now that I look back and see, gosh that’s, it’s not our job as elders to make it right. It’s our job to walk beside and give hope, but we can’t fix all the problems. Yeah. And my dad was a great picture. A great example of that. Cause he learned, up until. I mean my mom had dementia, and my dad he was always learning. What is the newest thing. How can I help her. He was always engaged in learning. Learning learning. So, yeah no I am not done, I am still curious about everything. Previous Next

Candace's Story Come listen to Candace’s story about her experience afinding her partner Gary and moving to Peru and living abroad. Through her story, Candace reflects on how living abroad allowed her to break free from her past and go on the adventure she had always wanted when she was little. Candace's Story 00:00 / 05:48 I was born in Princeton New Jersey in December of 1949. Unfortunately, I was born to very [inaudible] parents. As a child I always hoped that one day things would change. And then I remember very distinctly standing in my bedroom, I was 8 or 9, 10 years I old. I’m thinking, it’s not gonna change. It is just not going to change. But then I realized, cause I had older siblings who had left home. But one day it will, because I will leave home too and I cn change my life then. And that was, important for me. It was 1969, and I met this guy through my friend Terry. He had the kindest eyes, and he had a demeanor which a friend of mine in town here says he still has. He was very calm but he was just very caring and you felt like he was actually seeing you and hearing you. He originally had been from Long Island. His father had been in the schmatta trade, which means dressmaking trade if you don’t know the term, very New York term. And his Gary Drimmer. His parents had moved when he was eleven to Peru and he had gone to, finished up middle school gone to the equivalent of high school. In Spanish. By choice. Because he wanted to learn the foreign language. Well, we dated some, it wasn’t really serious but there was some connection and so when he left he said “I’ll write you,” and I thought right. At that point in my life I had learned that young men tend to lie a lot too. And they might mean to do things but they don’t always. So, we actually started writing and over the next three years we wrote letters, over a thousand of them. They were really the best way to get to know somebody. Because there was no interaction of you know sitting in the backseat of a car and what happens with that. So, it was more what was in your head. I mean he would talk about books he was reading. I would talk about issues I was having with my parents all the time which just was constant. I was really upset when he wrote me a letter that he was four years, four months younger and that he was Jewish. It was Jewish, didn’t bother me. The first boy I loved in fifth grade was Jewish. But you know it was like, “You were four months younger than me!” I felt like I was robbing the cradle. Which of course was hardly that. We continued to date each other during those 2 and a half of the three years until we decided okay, we got together he came back, up to the states and couple times and we got together then. Then we said, okay this is more serious than dating other people. Gary’s father writes, and there’s some, a lot of the letters are in there and asks, negotiates with Gary to come down to Peru to help him with the business he has, which is failing. Peru is a mess, it’s under a dictatorship and had been. And Gary negotiated, “Fine, but Candace has to come down with me and you can’t be saying anything about it.” Well, Gary’s parents were very very progressive, let me put it this way. They smoked pot with Gary in Peru, so that, I mean they’re dead no one can yell at them now. But I said “Oh my god! This is great!” So, we decided in late ‘71 I was gonna go down to Peru after I finished college in May at the University of Georgia. I got my first passport. I went to the library and got a bunch of books on Peru. Started reading about history. And I told my parents I was moving to Peru. Well, they couldn’t stop me I was 21, and turned 22 at the same, around the same time. So, in June of 1972, I left the United States with a passport in one hand and no idea what was gonna happen in the other. I mean, my father said, “You’re going to hell, and I won’t drive you to the airport”. My friends thought I was insane. “How do you know this guy?” “What do you know of this guy?” That kind of thing. But I felt I was doing the right thing. It was just like, the round peg into the round hole, I knew where I was, and this felt right. I got to Peru very early in the morning. After a long airline flight. Six months later we got married in a civil ceremony cause my parents refused to come to the religious one. And I was in the process of converting to Judaism with the only rabbi in the country. So, I learned, it was very lonely to be on your own, but I also learned that I am good at reaching out to people. And I learned to network with people. I would, if somebody invited me over for a cup of tea I might stay as long as they would let me stay in their house and pump their brain and try to get to know them. I really insinuated myself into people’s lives. I do remember things that I did, and it’s almost embarrassing but at the same time nobody ever said can’t you get out of my house, they understood, they all had been new at one point. So, I got to say I loved living abroad. It was the adventure that I had always wanted. I wanted adventure. I knew that. I also hated it at times. It was the biggest challenge. It grew me. It gave me the strength that I wasn’t raised with. It taught me I have more resources than I ever thought, and I loved ex-pats. Even the ones that I wouldn’t have spoken to for more than 5 minutes in the states. Because there was such a diversity of opinions, viewpoints, “lunch should be at 11:30, no 3 O’clock in the afternoon is early enough are you kidding?” I mean the world was just different. 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< Back Tony's Story Tony reflects on his working relationship with the reknowned American storyteller Studs Terkel. Studs was best known for his oral history books, in which he interviewed ordinary people about their lives and experiences. Tony worked closely with Studs and provides great insight on how important their work was. Everybody has a story to tell- Tony and Studs were instrumental in documenting these stories for decades. Scroll to listen 00:00 / 18:07 Thinking about and talking about stories, just makes me remember so well the great storyteller Studs Turkle who was born in 1912. Who spoke with hundreds of people, all over the country, about their lives, these conversations he was always uncomfortable with the notion of an interview, he liked to think of it as a conversation. Studs had a radio program on WFMT in Chicago for 40 years, but before that there was a program heard on public radio stations around the country, when public radio was just finding his legs. I heard him in Boston, and I thought I’d like to know this man; I worked in the radio business, and I was able to persuade somebody in Chicago to talk to me about working at WFMT so that is how I got to meet Studs. I was in a large part moved and interested in Chicago because of hearing him and his remarkable way of talking with people of all kinds. He was very very clever; Studs were very clever. He had people to realize that this was a friendly event, and they needn't be shy or intimidated by it, he was genuinely interested in what they had to say and that’s why in the end he had such successful conversations because people knew he was honestly interested in who they were and how they lived their lives. And he had funny little techniques pretending that he couldn’t get the tape recorder to work and getting them involved in helping get the tape started which meant that they were more equals than someone getting interviewed by an interviewer they were participants. I was lucky because I helped Studs and worked with him over a couple of decades and would often be invited to go along as he would see people around the country. Like a lot of men in his generation who grew up in cities, he never learned to drive a car, so if I had no other importance at least I could drive. I was lucky to be able to participate in this and so it’s a pleasure for me to be able to talk about Studs. Those experiences also made for stories because I then had stories to tell about the experience of being at the side of a master recorder of American and as you say Worldwide voices. The books that result from Studs interviews, his conversations are extraordinary and probably not being read as much as they once were, and that’s a shame. Previous Next